The Weekend Trader Part 2 – The Wall Street Redemption

Redemption.

I truly believe it’s one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given on this planet.

It’s an opportunity for us – as imperfect beings – to make up for past amends, errors, sins … you name it.

And while redemption of course an incredibly important – and necessary – aspect of life, it’s equally relevant to the game of trading.

For fight as we may, we’re all imperfect beings with personal weaknesses, limitations, and shortcomings. 

At my end, the gap between perfection and reality is as wide as the Grand Canyon.  Maybe even wider.

And while there’s not enough disk space on the Internet to list my personal shortcomings, somewhere near the top of the list is being far too intense … to the point where words and actions have sometimes been perceived by close friends, family, and business peers (including likely a few Jellies) as being downright off putting.

Yea, I know this isn’t exactly breaking news.  Let’s just say after 50 years, you get to know yourself pretty well … and sometimes it just ain’t pretty.

Along the same line, I also tend to be a Go Big or Stay Home kind of guy, as the term “moderation” often seems as foreign to me as James Cramer giving a course on speaking softly.

I’ve often said that my oldest daughter – from the day she was born – never seemed to have a volume control … only an on and off button.  Full speed or nothing.  And it’s crystal clear which parental genes she got that from, as it sometimes seems that I don’t even have an off button.

For those familiar with the medical branch of homeopathy, it’s an Arsenicum constitutional personality.

So what has this got to do with trading?  Well, for me, everything.

First, let me say that I’m truly grateful and appreciative of everyone reading this post, and for every friendship that’s stood the test of my being a royal pain in the a$$ at times.  For I fully realize it’s not easy being “around” constant intensity … just ask my wife.  And yes, I’ve likely lost a few friendships over time as a result.

Intensity of course has its place in terms of fighting for just causes, sparking innovation, spurring action, or – on the trading front – creating outliers. But as they say, there’s a time and place for everything.

I’m also grateful for all of the traders I’ve had the pleasure working with over the last 12 years, including the early Jellie teams who hopefully saw through the rough patches to see the genuine intent amidst the occasional drill sergeant antics.

Yet back to the trading front, the ever-present “all or nothing” piece of my personality remains one of my largest challenges in terms of trading goals, as the “what now” question (recall the October 2009 Catching the Rabbit post) often still eats at me.

Perhaps ironically, I’ve found that maintaining the highest level of interest in personal trading after a large degree of sustained success has turned out to my greatest trading challenge ever.  Ever build a deck or finish a basement?  It’s fun, challenging, and stimulating the first time, or even the second time.  Then it becomes dull, boring, and monotonous.

I suppose it’s like a marriage … full of initial passion and spark, before becoming at times routine to a point where both have to work creatively retain the flame.

In a recent dialogue with Linda Raschke, I asked her if she suffered from the same challenge.  Her response?  “Every year.”

And that’s exactly how I’d discuss my “marriage” to trading.

The blog inception over two years ago?  A spark to sustain the passion.  The Jellie training and charity work?  Another spark to rekindle the flame.

Next weekend, Debra and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary on the beautiful shores of Newport, R.I.

Think about that for a moment … someone has been able to put up with me for 25 years. 

Pehaps one reason it’s lasted is that we both realize – and accept – each other’s shortcomings … despite the fact they can drive both of us absolutely insane at times.

And it’s about constant moment-by-moment redemption.

With each other and with God.

Sort of like trading where one must live in a constant state of mental redemption that balances (1) retaining and learning from the past with (2) sole focus on the blank slate of the future.

Perhaps as we approach the fall season, we can use it as yet another opportunity to make amends for past sins, errors, indulgences, or misjudgments, while committing to once again reigniting that spark and passion.

In life and in trading.